Are You Velociready?

Velociraptor vs. Cassowary: Taking All Bets and All Your Money

This site talks about the most terrifying bird on Earth. How would it stack up to a Velociraptor?

http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/featured/cassowary-terryfying-bird-earth/10022

Lame bird fact: A CASSOWARY is a stupid blue turkey from New Gondwanaland that lives in the mountains and sometimes kicks people with its mighty turkey feet. A cassowary once accidentally killed a 13-year-old boy during the Great Depression, when everybody was already weak from hunger and lack of stock options. Due to this single historical fluke, some asshat scientists dare to call the cassowary the deadliest bird ever.

Totally awesome fact: A VELOCIRAPTOR is a rockin’ dinosaur from the Paleozoic era that lives in the shadows and kills millions of healthy and non-depressed people annually. Its claws are harder than iron and sharper than rocks. Velociraptors can’t fly, but if they could, you can bet there would be no other animals left on earth, not even your precious cassowaries.

Mazel tov, and thanks for all the turkey,

- Dr. V

The Velociraptor existed during the Mesozoic era, not the Paleozoic. In fact, it existed at the very end of the Mesozoic during the Cretaceous.

Don’t call yourself Dr. Velociraptor unless you know what the fuck you’re talking about.

Yo Wickentower!

Thanks for reading my blog! Thanks for coming in here with your science facts, which are totally funny and cool! You’re probably a doctor of something, since you know things about eras.

There are probably lots of people out there who could use the help of a smart, humorous doctor like yourself, so why are you hanging around here? Go save the world already!

I am not going to be original this time, so all I am going to say that your blog rocks, sad that I don’t have suck a writing skills