Can Velociraptors disguise themselves as humans to prey on them?
I’ve been suspecting some “humans” are velociraptors for a while now. Kenny Rogers and Karl Rove specifically.
- Chris
Dear Chrispus (Attucks),
Sorry it took me so long to answer your question! I had to consult with top minds, which was hard because I don’t know any, so I finally just made something up. Here are the facts:
- Velociraptors are cold-blooded
- Karl Rove is cold-blooded
- Velociraptors like to feast on the blood of the innocent
- Karl Rove eats a live puppy every day for breakfast
- Velociraptors lurk in the shadows waiting to pounce on their prey
- Karl Rove lurks in the shadows waiting to pounce on liberals and cheeseburgers
- Velociraptors can be momentarily diverted with bacon and whistles
- Karl Rove can’t be diverted, even by bacon and a court order
- Velociraptors have three fingers on each hand
- Karl Rove has at least five fingers on each grasping claw
Conclusion: Karl Rove is a raptor who has somehow learned to dress himself and gained executive privilege. He should be considered extremely dangerous.
In the matter of Kenny Rogers…. Come on! Have you seen that guy lately?!?!! He looks like Joan Rivers with a goatee. Definitely not a raptor.
Kenny Rogers, circa 2007
Keep on truckin!
- Doc V.